Week #6 Comment

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I chose the topic of Relationships, Dating etiquette based on gender, because as a 20 year old female in college, who has never been in a serious relationship, (one that has lasted over 3 months!) dating is a major part of my life. What further urged me to do this topic was the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. I found myself sitting through that movie, saying “oh my god I so do that” atleast once every 5 minutes. Not to mention, every single girl I know who has seen that movie also relates deeply to it. The dating world is just so completely stereotypical, that I thought it would be interesting to research the basic differences between men and women while dating.I basically support every detail found on my page, being that it’s so stereotypical and I have lived through these situations so many times, that it’s kind of hard not to agree with them. The textbook helped a good deal with this project, mainly Chapter 9, which deals with relationships between the genders. I got a good deal of information and ideas for the Wiki page, straight out of the text book.My first sources of research came from the book "He's just not that into you," which the movie mentioned above was based off of. I found a lot of idea's in this book which verified the thoughts I already had in mind to do this Wiki page. But I wanted academic sources that would back up the stereotypical assumptions that I have formed based of reality, and movies. Therefor, I searched academic journals in order to find information regarding dating in heterosexuals. During this search, I found a study conducted by Suzanna Rose of the University of Missouri-St. Louis, and Irene Hanson Frieze of the University of Pittsburgh. Their study helped them to create what is known as a dating script. Similar to a script in a play, the dating script outlines the expected behaviors of a man and a woman based on the first date. The script outlined 19 behaviors for women, and 27 behaviors for men.Our textbook, has a more up to date version of this script, being that the above study was conducted in 1989. In the more modern script, the 19, and 27 behavior expectations are condensed into four short sentences, which tell us: * Feminine women and masculine men are desirable * Men should initiate, plan, and direct most activities in a relationship * Women should facilitate conversation, generally defer to men, but control sexual activity * Men should excel in status and earning money, and women should assume primary responsibilities for the relationship.If you review the script from 1989 on my Wiki Page, you will notice just how well the modern script above, found in Chapter 9 of the textbook, is a well put summary of the longer 1989 script. If I were to continue this project, it’s relatively easy to decided what the direction of part two would be. Part two after dating! Marriage! Why does a woman take the man’s last name, why does the man propose to the woman, etc. Originally I had thought of incorporating this into my page, but it would have gotten to be far more than I can handle!I hope you enjoy my page!!
Rhiannon, gender issues follow us to the dating scene as well. Why is it that men feel they have to choose us as if we’re not capable of knowing who we want to go out with? Is it a control issue? I guess your suppose to like him if and I mean if he likes you because he chose you. I believe it all boils down to her self worth to put up with such nonsense. I assume that someone instilled in her that she must find a man, and hopefully the man of her dreams before her biological clock runs out and that’s probably the reason she settles for this behavior. Let me tell you a secret, a women can actually have any man she fancies if she knows what she wants. Now, can you see where I’m going with this? She doesn’t know what she wants and that’s why she have to go through the process of elimination with a man, as you have illustrated in your project. All of the books the women are reading about relationships states that society views the dating game as that, a game men are using to try on women like they try on a new pair of shoes. Men really do know what they are looking for and are willing to try every girl who consents to find the one. A women is just the opposite, she will accept the one man who shows interest in her, that you demonstrated in your film clip” He’s just not that in to you”

The gender issues in this topic are quite accurate. Communication is the key, and the lack of it is the cause of women expecting one thing and men another. Women seem to take relationships to heart because they are looking for love and therefore fall in love faster than men, as stated in the text book under the meaning of personal relationships. Women are better at relating to others, men’s style of building and maintaining relationships is inadequate and less skilled in developing and sustaining personal relationships. I have learned from your project that men like to chase. I had no idea of this fact; this is new to me, very interesting. I can identify with the fact that it’s not personal.

The topic relates to gendered styles of friendship that men and women have different dating styles. The book connection to the topic depicts a women tends to engage each other face to face, whereas men usually interact side by side, meaning women are more likely than men to communicate directly and verbally with each other to share themselves and their feelings, whereas men engage in activities that do not involve facing each other.
You showed this in the film clip with Drew and the guys in front of the phone. Julia would say that you captured the essence of the information on relationships in chapter 9, and she would also say that you confirmed in your project that her research is accurate because the information written is being portrayed in books and it’s also being played out in movies.

The message is clear that men want to control the dating scene but I believe the dating scene is being swayed in a different direction. Women are more familiar with the boys now, as Rhiannon says through books and movies and because of this knowledge; women are a little more in control of the relationship game. It would be interesting to see how men will be dealing with this new attitude from women in the future